Home-Bound

I’m sitting in the Amsterdam airport waiting for my connecting flight to Atlanta and then Miami. It didn’t really hit me that we were leaving Kenya until… well… I was physically on the plane departing. It’s weird—I’m not sad per say, but I met some really cool people and developed some great friendships over the course of two weeks. It’s strange having to say goodbye without knowing if I am going to come back and when. To be quite honest, I would love to go back but I’m not sure if I can do it soon. When I was saying goodbye to the staff, they kept asking if I was coming back next year. It’s different for other people on my team because they are all still undergrads while I’m not an alumnus. They have the ability to come back next year still as a “student” while I will be out of UM. And I’m not sure if one year away will give me enough perspective to come back with fresh thinking and ways to truly make the impact I want to in the community. Time will tell but I would like to go back one day. Meanwhile, I will try to stay in touch somewhat with some of my new friends through email and Skype. I’m not foolish to think I’ll be talking to them every day but I would like to talk every so often. I’m hoping I keep up with that.

Kenya was good for me. I had fun, I learned a lot about Kenyan culture, and I met some awesome people with inspiring stories and backgrounds. I’m not sure if I’m an entirely new or different person with a new life outlook because of it but I definitely have been shaped by it. I do believe that at any point in time in our lives, we are a sum of all our past experiences. For that reason, I do think this trip has changed me but not completed redefined me.

Since all our flights were departing at night (10:30pm for all of us, except Layne and Afonso who were leaving an hour after us) and the trip from Meru to the Nairobi airport is about 6 hours, we were leaving Thiiri in the afternoon after lunch. I woke up later than usual, around 8am but went on a last run. I ran into Alex who was walking to BLISS on my run back so it was nice to have a last goodbye with him. Surprisingly or not, I was still the first person at breakfast from my UM team. The rest of our morning at Thiiri was uneventful. I spent time packing, lounging about, and saying goodbyes to the staff and medical and pharmacy students.

After lunch, we brought out our luggage and had our final hugs and farewells. Then I sat in the van for 6 hours until we got to the airport. Since we didn’t get a chance to stop for dinner, we were looking for food but there was only one restaurant in the entire airport and it was extremely overpriced. When converting the price I paid in KES to US$, it’s the price I would pay for a meal at an airport anywhere, like the US. I guess airport food is expensive no matter where you are.

The flight wasn’t too bad. I thought I could have slept since it was an overnight flight but I just ended up watching three movies: Man on a Ledge, The Vow, and Chronicle. The last two weren’t anything spectacular but who can deny free movies on a flight? Now I’m waiting a few hours for my next flight. I just looked at my ticket and realized that my layover in Atlanta is 4 hours so that’s a bit annoying. All I want to do when I get home is shower and sleep. I’m looking forward to it.

Bumming

I recognize that I am a huge bum whenever I go home to Florida. I wake up late, sleep later and yet accomplish little next to nothing. I mean, I have things to do. I can do more research into Kenya and about my social entrepreneurship idea, I can study hardcore Korean before I get to orientation, work on Synergy social media stuff, etc. Yet, I literally sit around all day, usually in my pajamas. I have to force myself to do something active; yesterday, I got changed just to go to WalMart to return my Redbox DVDs. That's what my life has come to. I have two college degrees from the University of Michigan and I watch movies all day. My regents should be proud.

I guess I should start by setting goals. That is the plan. Heck, writing in this blog takes too much effort and it requires me to set a goal to do it. That has to say something.

Break... Forever?

It still hasn't hit me yet--the fact that I won't be returning to Ann Arbor this Fall. Being at home in Florida is weird.

When people ask me questions and I refer to college, I keep answering as if I am returning and I'm still a current student. Even remarking that I'm a graduate sounds odd to me.

At church today, I saw one of the kids I used to TA for and he's in 8th grade now... he's grown up so fast! When I left for college at 18, I didn't realize I was leaving for good. When I come back home nowadays, it's for small bursts of time. I have never really come back and I don't plan on coming back either. It's a weird realization.

Reflection on Undergrad

I figured it was time to sit down, remember, and reflect on the past four years.

I graduated from University of Michigan on April 28th (officially). If I'm honest with myself, I have not kept up with a blog/journal/notebook in my twenty-two years of existence. There have been times when I have tried...and failed. Whenever I travel, I do a pretty decent job of recording all the events I attend, food I try, places I visit, etc. However, I never sit and think about what I've learned. Heck, I rarely let myself sit. I am go, go, go all the time. However, it's a new chapter in my life and what better time than now to recognize everything that has shaped and changed me during my time at UM.

Overall, I have no doubt I have grown and matured. I have a better sense of who I am, my values, my desires, my shortcomings, my fears, my failures.

I have grown to understand my faith in Jesus and my sin and weaknesses.
I have grown to understand how peoples' perception of who I am affects my decisions.
I have grown to understand the way in which I can encourage others and love them.
I have grown to understand when I need to be more patient and understanding of others.

As a Freshman, I had no idea how much I would change. I wasn't completely naive; I knew I would grow and change to become the woman I am today but I had no idea how much I would be shaped by my college experiences.

Most notable:
-Asian Intervarsity Christian Fellowship (AIVCF)
:Small groups: I was taught what it meant to be humble in bible studies. As a Freshman coming in, I remember thinking I knew everything. I would realize how foolish that was. It takes a lot of drive and ownership from all parties to build a "good" small group, one that truly feels like a family.
:Urbana09: I learned more about God's heart for missions and justice here. I was called to do missions here. I learned about righteous anger and how I can have that.
:Compelling Conferences: I built a stronger bond with individuals in my fellowship. I was trained here.
:Prayer Group: I have never been as vulnerable as I have been with my prayer group. I learned what it meant to pray for others, to love others, to have a heart of compassion, and to confess my sin.
:Class of 2012: I learned what it means to be unified. Everyone was so different but it still worked. At the end of the day, I loved each and every one of them and wanted the best for them.

Asian American Association (AAA)
:Board Meetings and Bondings: It takes a lot to run an organization. There is a lot of planning and necessary preparation. I also learned how to step up, when to step up, when to sit back, etc. It was also good to see different dynamics between peoples' personalities.

UM Housing Staff
:RA experiences: Two years living at Markley as an upperclassman definitely shaped my college experience. I think I got a better sense of Freshmen as an upperclassman because of my RA status and interactions with younger residents.
:Staff bondings: I loved Markley Staff. Yes there were cliques and moments in which I wanted everyone to stop acting like it was high school but overall, I liked everyone (few exceptions). I got along with everyone and knew that in the worst of moments, others had my back.
:CLE: This was an time for epic staff bonding.
:Eventful Duties: Because of my Duty, I know I can handle anything. People will respect you if you act like you know what's going on too. Confidence is 95%. the other 5% is actually knowing.

Global Intercultural Experience for Undergraduates (GIEU): Working in Grenada with the Roving Caregiver's Programme was one of the best experiences of my Undergraduate career. Not only did I have an awesome team to hang out with and experience new things, but my eyes began to open up about the world and how things are very different compared to America.

:Synergy Ministries Missions: Ghana was an experience I'll never forget. My first consulting experience, my first missions experience. I loved it all. I loved my team, the children, working with BASICS. I fell in love with Africa.

:Target Internship: While I gained a lot of business experience, I also learned what it means to be a college student with no responsibilities and no stress. I learned how to manage up with my manager, how to work hard, and act in a professional environment. I also learned how to party hard, and how to truly unwind after work.

My undergraduate carer at the University of Michigan is not one that can be replicated. I was challenged to grow, to become a woman. I had my ups and downs in my walk with God but know that He is always there. I recognize my shortcomings and have definitely chilled out a lot. I have learned that it is not worth stressing out over everything because there is a time and a place to worry about something.

I learned who I am. Forever and always, Go Blue!